I opened the door and looked at him. The untamed, short brown hair, his tanned complexion, the same boyish features...I couldn’t mistake him for anyone else. I guess he had always been unmistakable. My jaw dropped slightly and I looked down at my scruffy clothes, raked a hand through my unbrushed hair, and thought about every other imperfection that was a result of the weekly Thursday night housekeeping.

“Um,” he said, scratching the back of his head as a means to hide his obvious discomfort. “I suppose you don’t remem-“

“Daniel?” I asked, interrupting him. His face fell back into a warm smile, one that always made me glow inside.

“It’s been a long time, Laura,” he beamed. “Sorry for dropping by unannounced, I really should have called first...”

“No, no,” I said quickly, and I stepped aside to allow him to come in. “Can you stay for a bit?”

“Of course,” he replied, and gratefully walked into the hallway. Hesitantly, he opened his arms out for a hug. I accepted, though I felt slightly awkward doing so.

“It’s good to see you,” he murmured as he held me. Even now, I could feel a tinge of red rising to my cheeks.

“Same here,” I said softly, and broke free from his embrace. “Come into the sitting room, it’s a lot more comfortable than this hall.” I closed the front door, shutting out the drizzly rain that had started to waft down from above. I was glad I had nearly finished cleaning; if he had been only one hour earlier it would have been hard to hide the abomination that was my house.

“Would you like something to drink?” I offered. “Wine, perhaps? Or are you a non-drinker? We have tea, or milk, or-“

Daniel shook his head and laughed. “Wine would be lovely,” he assured. “And don’t worry about me driving home, I walked here.”

“You’re living close by?”

“About half a mile, surprising, isn’t it?”

I didn’t reply, but disappeared into the kitchen, taking a moment to make myself more presentable. It was hard to get over the shock of seeing him again; he had become a very distant memory in the last few years, only to be thought of during idle times. It had been better that way. Yes, I had wondered what he was doing from time to time, and I wondered if I played on his mind also. Apparently I had.

I took a bottle of red wine off the counter and poured two glasses. After all, I didn’t want to be a bad host and keep him waiting like this. I re-emerged to find that the never-forgotten person from my past was standing in front of the fireplace. It was lit, and he seemed to be mesmerised by the way the amber flames crackled and consumed the discarded scraps of wood I had thrown there. I wondered if that was what I was like to him now; had he come back to examine the black and dirty ashes of his old flame? We both knew I was of no use to him anymore; he had outworn his need for me long ago.

I must have made a noise of some sort, because he turned around and looked at me. I stared back, completely silent, as we took each other in. It had been so long since we had seen one another; my last memory of him was one of a teenage boy, cocky and the slightest bit absent minded. Now, as the years had passed, time had treated him kindly; faint laughter lines could be seen around his eyes, and only served to accentuate his kind face. So, he had found happiness. I was glad.

“How are you?” he asked. His voice was inquisitive, genuinely worried. I looked away to avoid the gaze that was always able to penetrate my soul.

“I’m good,” I said, looking down at my shoes. “My job is going well, so I’m earning a fair bit of money-”

“No, no, no,” he corrected. “I don’t want to know about your job, I want to know how you’re doing.”

“I-“ the words caught in my throat. How was I supposed to answer such a stupid question? My work was my life; it was what put food on the table, a roof over my head. How could it not be important?

“You look tired,” he offered, trying to explain himself. “Are you getting enough sleep?”

“I get my seven hours,” I replied shortly. I didn’t want him doing this, undermining what I had accomplished. I didn’t want him judging my life, not after what he’d done to me.

“I remember a time when you wouldn’t function unless you had at least ten,” he laughed, somewhat nostalgically.

“Well,” I said quietly. “That was a long time ago, wasn’t it?”

“You can say that again,” he replied. “How long has it been now?”

“Twelve years,” I said immediately, without hesitation. After a moment I cringed inwardly at how quickly I had answered.

“It’s been that long?”

“Yes.”

Silence overcame us both. Unsaid questions swirled through the room, leaving a tension hanging thick in the air. I still stood with two glasses of wine in my hand, now wondering what to do with them.

“Laura-” he began.

“Why didn’t you keep in touch?” I blurted out. I realised how childish I sounded, and turned away from him, blushing. I felt like a complete idiot. No, worse than that. I felt like a complete teenager.

“I’m sorry,” I said, correcting myself. “That came out wrong.”

“No,” he replied. “You have every right to ask that question. I did promise I would after all.”

“It’s just...” I started, wondering how I would continue. I didn’t know what I was thinking, how I was feeling. Even now, years on, he still had the ability to make me stop and doubt myself. The truth was, I had missed him, and missed him terribly at that. He had been so kind, and so much fun to be around. I loved how he was always able to tease the child out of me that I had stubbornly hidden, allowing me to break free from my shackles of sensibility and reason.

“Heh,” I laughed, more to myself than to him. “Never mind.”

Daniel looked at me for a minute more, wondering if I’d continue, or if I was testing him.

“If you’re sure,” he said slowly. “So, tell me about yourself, Laura. Where are you now in your life?”

“Um, well, I have a son,” I said. Daniel’s whole posture straightened.

“You’re serious? Congratulations! What’s his name?”

“His name is Matthew, and he’s ten months old.” I eyed him, waiting for the obvious question that was about to follow. Because no, I wasn’t married, and no, I wasn’t thinking about tying the knot with the father either. I was genuinely surprised when he didn’t give it.

“Can I see him?” he asked instead. I shook my head slowly.

“Dan, the guy is murder to get to sleep. If we as much as step on a floorboard in his room he’ll be up for the night!”

“Ha ha, alright. We’ll let you have some peace for another while then.”

Silence lapsed once again. Both of us had yet to sit; my mind was admonishing me for not offering yet, but for some reason I didn’t want things to get too comfortable. If we managed to find the chemistry we once had, I would never get the nerve to ask him why he had just dropped contact like that.

“How’s Aisling?” I asked. Daniel lifted up his left hand. A small gold ring glinted in the dim light. My eyes widened.

“No way,” I said in disbelief. “I never thought you’d have the guts to ask her.”

“You knew we were going out?” It was his turn to be surprised.

“I knew you always liked her,” I replied, a knowing smile playing faintly on my lips. “It was only a matter of time really.”

“It’ll be four years now this October,” he said, even though he knew as well as I did that an explanation was unnecessary. “I really love her, Laura.”

“You would want to if you married her!” I laughed, good-naturedly. I paused for a minute, hesitant to ask my next question. Daniel noted this and shook his head.

“No, she doesn’t know I’m here.”

“I thought so.”

“That’s also why...”

“I wasn’t invited to the wedding.”

“Or-”

“Why you didn’t keep in touch,” I finished. He nodded wordlessly.

“She knew we were never more than friends,” I sighed. That had always been the way. When a boy and girl only talked everyone expected that there was something more going on. Frustration welled up inside me, and my hands unconsciously gripped the necks of the wine glasses tighter. “I hate it when people act so selfish!”

“Give her a break, Laura,” Daniel said. His voice was neither mad nor defensive. “You and I, we were always more than that, and you know it.”

I sighed again, and then I walked across the room to where he was standing. Slowly, I reached out my hand and handed him a wine glass.

“I missed you,” I said.

“So did I,” he replied. His smile was painfully sad.

“In the last twelve years, there have been so many things I’ve wanted to say to you,” I started. I took a shuddering breath, not knowing how to continue but knowing that I had to. “I’d see something, or something would happen, and I would say ‘I can’t wait to tell Dan’. It was really hard when you weren’t there to share it with, you know? After all my texts, all the unanswered calls, I was really upset. I wondered if you ever cared in the first place.”

The next seven words out of my mouth were the hardest I’d ever had to say.

“Did I mean that little to you?”

“No,” he said vehemently. “Never. I just...didn’t know how to tell you that I couldn’t see you anymore. I thought it would be less painful if I said nothing.”

“After the ten years we had together, I needed an explanation. To be cut off like that, it hurt more than anything in the world. It’s been twelve years, and it still hurts. Because you still mean everything to me, Daniel, you really do.”

He nodded, and I saw it. It was only small, but a single tear escaped his overly bright eyes. I reached out my hand and slowly brought his head towards mine. Our foreheads touched, and we stayed that way for a long time, both of us mourning the loss of the last twelve years. Now that we were together again, a crushing wave of relief seemed to wash over us, and all the emotions that we ever felt for each other were communicated in that brief moment.

“I’m so sorry Laurs,” he whispered.

“It’s alright,” I replied, just as quietly. I could feel my own tears starting to come, and I let them flow. We collapsed into a tight hug, and clung to each other for what seemed like an eternity.

“I promise,” he said fervently. “This time, we’ll be friends. It’ll work this time Laurs, I promise. I promise.”

“I love you Dan,” I murmured into his chest.

“Love you too, Laura.”

We broke away, and I wiped the tears furiously from my eyes, embarrassed by them. I laughed at myself, and he laughed with me.

“Hey Dan?” I said. “Do you still have time?”

He looked at his watch and nodded. “Plenty.”

I smiled.

“Have a seat.”